I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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