There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
