We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
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You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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