This girl is more easily done than said...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
