Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize