Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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