Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
