So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
