it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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