Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
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Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
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I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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