you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
