in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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