So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
