someone get that fucking seahorse.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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