I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
