The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
