Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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