you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
