I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize