Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
