direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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