Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
