At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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