well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
