Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
