Please don't use social media to get back at me.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize
