I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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