Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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