you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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