I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize