Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
