All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
