youre lurking in front of me
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
