one two three fourrrrnication!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
