Are we in a gay sports bar?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize