just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
