yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
