I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
