Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
