He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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