i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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