I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
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I cut my penus on the lid.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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