OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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