Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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