so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
