Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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