You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
