hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
