After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
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She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
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got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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