Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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