No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
