Don't you send me to vm
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
