p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
