I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
