i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
