i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
