My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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