You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
