Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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